First off…happy Fall…because…well – Fall. And it’s awesome. This is a photo I took while hiking at some point last Fall. As I’ve mentioned before, like so many other ADHD-ers, I love the outdoors and find nature more therapeutic than Xanax (well, most days at least). So, in honor of the first day of Fall and all the changing leaves and all that good stuff, I had to share one of the more colorful photos I’ve taken.
Second off…and continuing with yesterday’s Dear Diary theme…and with the general intent to keep writing something, just to keep writing, I wanted to share another retro post from my Xanga days.
I’ve worked so hard to make it all appear as such. I believe I’ve succeeded, in that at least.
And all they see is what I show them; they never see the pain.
They say that life’s a stage. I’d say I’m tired of playing this part, but, hell, I can’t even face the audition.
The problem with suffering in silence is that noone ever hears your cries.
No full thoughts. I can’t find it within me to compile them.
Looking back, it’s so strange how often I’ve felt just as I do today. My anxiety is crippling. My distractibility? Derailing, at the very least. …but I carry on. No one sees the struggle. So, when I try to explain, it’s hard for them to fathom. I find myself lost again, but aspiring to be on the path to somewhere better than here. Somehow, I still can’t find the words. I’m trying, though…and I’m trying to force myself to speak, even when I’m not entirely sure what to say. And I’m trying to put one foot in front of the other, even though I don’t really know where I’m headed.
Other “retro” posts from Xanga: