Today is a day of very mixed emotions for me.  This day last year was the last good day that I had with Puppy (my VERY beloved cat of 13 or so years).

Of course, I captured the moment and shared it on Facebook.  And of course I was reminded of it this morning.  Truth be told, I remember it clearly and I knew it was coming.  I knew it was here.  I knew the last happy picture I took of him.  It still caught me off guard and rattled my heart.

 As I mentioned, it was a beautiful 70 degree day in January.  We were both soaking it up.  We spent most of the day on the porch and I am so grateful that I chose to spend the day with him…doing nothing and just taking it all in.  

Four days later, my little dude would be gone.  It still crushes me and I miss him like hell every day.

But something else happened on this day last year.  Many of you have asked about Monkey’s story and this is the beginning of it (at least of our story).  For those who don’t know, this is Monkey:

And on this day last year, while Puppy slept restfully on the porch rocking chair, he showed up out of the blue.  He came right up on the deck.  I stepped out of the screened-in porch and pet the little guy.  He was a head-butter, with an intense purr.  He looked a little rough and tumble, with patches of missing fur.  He would shy away a bit if I reached my hand out to pet him, but he was definitely happy for the attention.  My gut told me, despite his somewhat scrappy appearance, he belonged to somebody.

I only pet him for a little bit, as I felt like I was cheating on my sweet Pupster while he slept nearby.

I had no clue on that sunny day that four days later, my favorite little guy in the whole world would be gone.  This week is going to suck.  I’ve been fighting tears back all day.  Things are not stellar in general, so I’m sure that doesn’t help.  Some of you won’t understand.  Some may say, “He was just a cat.”  But some of you will understand.  I could get into how ADHDers tend to love animals in a huge way, but we’ll just say you either get it or you don’t.  I love with everything I have and I definitely loved Puppy that way.  I have known loss and this loss, like so many others, has left me winded and empty…broken in a whole new way.

But…the thing is…they say when God closes a door, he opens another…or something like that.  I can only say that I believe Monkey chose me, that maybe he and Puppy talked. Maybe Puppy knew that his time was near, so he tasked Monkey with saving my life.  He had been sick for quite some time, even though we thought he was getting better.

However it happened, I have to believe it was divine intervention.  I had no clue on this day last year that I would soon say goodbye to my best friend Puppy, that it would be our last good day together.  I also had no clue that this little gray and white goober who showed up out of nowhere would also show me how to love again.

It’s a bittersweet day, my friends.  And as I head into the anniversary of one of the hardest weeks of my life…that kicked off a pretty shitty year, I decided it was time to put it on paper…er…type it into my phone.  

Here’s hoping I have the energy to finish the story.  It’s my intention to write it all out as it happened last year…if I can get the dates right…or at least close enough.  It’s a hard story to tell as Monkey’s hello was Puppy’s goodbye, but there’s beauty even in the darkest moments.

I was just gonna do a Facebook post, but I knew it was going to be super long-winded, even for me.  Hoping this kicks me back into blogging.  Many of my other Facebook On This Day moments have been related to me blogging or feeling like I need to get back into it.  Must be a New Year thing.  Well, I’m gonna give it a whirl.  Look at me, I’ve nearly finished my first post for 2018.

Thanks for reading, guys…and for all the love and support you’ve shown me over the past year (and my lifetime).  Life isn’t always easy, but I have amazing friends and family who make it easier.