This time last year, I was supposed to be hanging out with some lifelong friends, including one who was in town only for a minute.  I was supposed to be out, having dinner…maybe a few drinks, having fun with some of my favorite people in the world.  But something was off about Puppy.  Maybe it was “mother’s intuition.”  Maybe it was that sixth sense that’s so common with us ADHDers.  Whatever.  I just knew.  I battled between joining my friends for dinner and staying home with my cat, who didn’t really show any signs that he was failing…but somehow was telling me something was wrong.

Dude was fussy as hell, always.  And weird. Weird beyond weird.  These are some of the reasons I loved him so much.  But these things made it hard to tell, on the surface of it all, that things were failing.

These are the last pics I took of my little dude.

These were not out of character.  My parents were out of town, so he had every right to be pissed (and to stare at a wall, ignoring my every attempt at love).  He didn’t like change.  And the buffet of food?  He was the pickiest cat I’ve ever met…and we all know cats are known for their pickiness.  But I have many pics of this buffet on many a good day.  Puppy not eating the food in front of him didn’t mean he wasn’t eating.  It usually just meant I hadn’t given him his food of choice for the night.

Still, I sensed something, even if there wasn’t a red flag blowing in my face.  Something told me something was off.  I am eternally grateful for my instinct.  I felt like crap blowing off my friends that night, but I will never regret that choice.  I can’t imagine how I would have felt had I left my Pupster alone that night.  I am glad (to put it super lightly) that I trusted my instinct and stayed home with him.

It was a normal night otherwise.  Puppy hadn’t been snuggling with me for a while and I don’t think that he did that evening either.

But…that night, he slept with me.  He slept right up near my head.  He was throwing me a bone.  He hadn’t done that in a while.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but come 4AM, I would get it.