Insomnia and My Groundhog Day Scenario

Megan's Easy Go To Sleep List 1990

Megan’s Easy Go To Sleep List 1990: 1. 20 names beginning with a letter in the ABC. 2. Count backwards starting at 100. 3. Listen to tape. 4. Think about the next day. 5. Try.

It’s almost 1:00AM on Sunday night/Monday morning and I work at 8:00AM…and, like most nights, sleep isn’t coming easily.  I stumbled across this gem just a few days ago and, with the whole Groundhog Day post, I thought I’d take this opportunity to make an example out of my struggle with insomnia.  A lot of people with ADHD face sleep issues at some point, so I thought maybe you guys could relate.  Either way, you can at least laugh with me.

Backstory?  I’m pretty sure I was born with insomnia.  When I was a baby, there was a saying about me, “You wake her, you take her,” because I never slept.  My mom would put me down for a 20 minute nap and come back to crooked pictures on the wall, a ripped up diaper and me wide awake, staring back at her.  I was apparently born with ADHD, too.

The issue has persisted, despite my million attempts to fix it.  I have tried just about everything and I will continue to try.  That’s not to say that there aren’t days…er…nights when I just say screw it…because there are.

But the point of this post is to show you how much my 11 year old self suffered with the same sleepless nights that I do now.  While I can definitely laugh at it, I feel a little sad about it, too.  I think the biggest thing that gets me is the final item on the list, “Try,” and how enthusiastically I underlined it.  Even then, I felt responsible for my insomnia, like I should’ve been able to will myself to sleep or something.  I know I was beating myself up over it…and that makes me a little sad.

Guess I’ll put my computer away now, so I can give this sleep thing a solid effort…again…ha ha