Seamless

Happy Fall!

First off…happy Fall…because…well – Fall.  And it’s awesome.  This is a photo I took while hiking at some point last Fall.  As I’ve mentioned before, like so many other ADHD-ers, I love the outdoors and find nature more therapeutic than Xanax (well, most days at least).  So, in honor of the first day of Fall and all the changing leaves and all that good stuff, I had to share one of the more colorful photos I’ve taken.

Second off…and continuing with yesterday’s Dear Diary theme…and with the general intent to keep writing something, just to keep writing, I wanted to share another retro post from my Xanga days.

Seamless

I’ve worked so hard to make it all appear as such.  I believe I’ve succeeded, in that at least.

And all they see is what I show them; they never see the pain.

They say that life’s a stage.  I’d say I’m tired of playing this part, but, hell,  I can’t even face the audition.

The problem with suffering in silence is that noone ever hears your cries.

No full thoughts.  I can’t find it within me to compile them.

Looking back, it’s so strange how often I’ve felt just as I do today.  My anxiety is crippling.  My distractibility?  Derailing, at the very least.  …but I carry on.  No one sees the struggle.  So, when I try to explain, it’s hard for them to fathom.  I find myself lost again, but aspiring to be on the path to somewhere better than here.  Somehow, I still can’t find the words.  I’m trying, though…and I’m trying to force myself to speak, even when I’m not entirely sure what to say.  And I’m trying to put one foot in front of the other, even though I don’t really know where I’m headed.

Other “retro” posts from Xanga:

8 comments

    1. You’re exactly right, my friend. Then again, sometimes it seems like there’s just too much to say. I guess that’s what I’m trying to push through at the moment.

      Also, I noticed you’ve been busy posting, too. Proud of you for that. And I promise to read them all very soon. Hope you’re hangin’ in there!

      Like

  1. Beautiful picture. Looks like it was taken by a professional. I would buy a picture just like to hang on my wall. You’re not alone………………..I think most of us ADHDer’s never really seem to know where we are going or where we even want to go, but we’re always on the move, go figure. I hate the fact that people think we’re just spacey! They do say that people with ADHD are usually very intelligent and creative! It’s not all bad. Take care, friend. xx 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the kind words and support! I used to take pictures a lot more. Have done a few weddings and had some pics in some smaller, local shows. It’s something I need to make more time for…just like all of the things. 😉

      I think you’re right about most ADHDers not knowing where they are going or where they want to go. Perhaps the thing is, there’s not just one place. Maybe we just like to be in so many places at one time, doing so many things. I believe there are ways to make that happen, even in such a cookie-cutter world like ours. It’s just a matter of navigating it. I think we’ll all get there eventually. Just can’t give up.

      I strongly believe that most people with ADHD are highly intelligent and creative. That’s sort of the point of my blog (even though I sometimes stray from the main theme with my posts). The whole point is to shed light on the positive aspects, to introduce the rest of the world to the awesome that is ADHD…and to help inspire other ADHDers (and maybe even myself in the process). It’s so easy to get lost and overwhelmed when you’re forcing yourself into a society that isn’t made for your brain style. But we are resilient (creative, intelligent) people and once we get there, we have so very much to offer.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I would strongly suggest you apply more time to photography, especially if it’s something you really enjoy.
        Our thoughts are always racing, faster than we’re able to move. We need to be here, we need to be there, and everywhere in between.
        And, of course, you’re going to stray from the main theme for your blog, you’ve got ADHD! 🙂 It happens! I agree, we are resilient even in a world not made for our brains. We’re creative and intelligent, so it’s not all bad, right? We’re usually very outgoing, as well. Before I got so sick, I was a very social butterfly. Could never have enough friends!
        So, keep offering it up, girl! Take care . I wish you the very best on your journey. 🙂

        Like

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