life

Today’s Impulsive ADHD Purchase

A few of us were craving McFlurries after lunch today, so we field tripped it up to McDonald’s. We approached the drive-thru window with great anticipation, but were met with much disappointment instead. The McFlurry machine was broken…and so we cried. Okay, not really, but it was a pretty heartbreaking moment.

Determined to reward ourselves with a scrumptious treat, we headed to the grocery store for some ice cream of sorts. And all the sorts they had! A vast selection indeed! Overwhelmed by the delicious possibilities, we settled on an old favorite – ice cream sandwiches.

There were six in a box…so I had to buy two boxes. If you know me at all (which some of you do), you know I can’t show up somewhere with special treats…if I don’t have enough for everybody. It was engrained in me a long time ago, “If you don’t have enough for the class, don’t bring it.” Besides, I like to cheer people up and ice cream has a tendency to do that.

We head up to the register and I see this magazine with Albert Einstein (who had already come up in conversation earlier today). So, I say, “I need that! He has ADHD!” To which, I correct myself, “Had,” and I toss the magazine on the checkout belt thing.

While they ring it up, I happen to look down at the price total.

$16.99 for today’s impulsive ADHD purchase. That’s what I get for acting without thinking…oh well. Maybe I’ll actually read this magazine instead of just hoarding it protectively for the rest of my life.

Chances are slim, though.

When Squirrels Attack: A Brutal Retaliation Against the Easily Distracted and Self(ie)-Obsessed

The Squirrel and ADHD – A Recipe for Laughter

As the punchline in many ADHD jokes, the squirrel is well known for it’s distractability factor. Part of that is because squirrels are everywhere. And part of it is because…well, you really just can’t help but look when you see one (at least as an ADHDer); they’re intriguing, little performers. Having posted about the ADHD squirrel phenomenon pretty recently, I wouldn’t usually bring it back up (at least not so soon).

But This Selfie Story Changes Everything

This story on Buzzfeed couldn’t be ignored. Brian Genest got distracted by the squirrel above while he was hiking…and decided he wanted to take a squirrel-featured selfie.

…which he succeeded in.

…but shortly thereafter, things took a turn for the worst.

In a seemingly spontaneous assault, the squirrel pounced on Brian and proceeded to attack. Luckily, the word on the street (aka per the aforementioned credible sources) is that Brian and the squirrel both made it out of this horrific (somewhat hysterical – let’s be honest) attack alive (and uninjured).

Why Would a Squirrel Turn Like That?

My theory is that squirrels everywhere are tired of being blamed for our distractability (and, by default, our ADHD)…so they’re ready to fight back when they see it going down. It’s about to get real. This guy…this squirrel…is the leader of the revolution and this was his first (documented/viral) battle.

ADHDers Heed This Warning

So, I leave you with this…be wary of the squirrel that snags your attention. Resist the urge to be distracted by the fun, furry, little creature. As we’ve learned in this story, not all distractions are worth giving in to. Sometimes they end in blood and tears (read: comical experiences that result in viral celebrity status and no significant injuries to write home about).

Side Note

I’m not really saying that Brian Genest is a fellow ADHDer…or that he was actually distracted by anything as a result of his encounter with the squirrel. This post (and the story itself) is really just an opportunity to poke fun at the distractability (and countless jokes) that squirrels have provided to the ADHD community…well, probably since the beginning of time.

Step Out of Your OCD Comfort Zone (and Laugh at Yourself)

You have to be able to laugh at your (OCD) self.

I mean, I even labeled my label maker(s)…yeah, yeah, yeah, I have three.

Humor is the key to life, my friends. The ability to laugh can get you through a lot of sticky situations…and will probably get you a lot of friends, if that’s what you’re after.

The ability to laugh at yourself is rare, but I believe it’s one of the biggest tools of survival. It’s something you should strive to be able to do, if you can’t already.

If you’ve read any of my blog, you know I’ve managed to laugh at my ADHD, but that’s pretty easy. I mean, my ADHD makes me quick witted, smart and creative (oh, and clumsy), hysterical things are bound to happen when it’s in charge.

On the other hand, my OCD tends to bring out my serious side. The obsessive worry, the phobias, the panic, the need for certain kinds of order and the perfectionism? Well, these symptoms don’t always lend themselves to having a sense of humor in the same way that my ADHD symptoms do.

Still, I can laugh about the fact that I’m in love with hand sanitizer (but I’m not gonna laugh if it’s not readily available) or that I have three label makers and that I feel the need to label them all. These are quirky things and quirky things make me interesting (or, you know, weird, but whatever). I guess they make me a character of sorts and it turns out that other people are entertained by my oddities.

It’s the whole, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em,” mentality. If they’re all gonna laugh at me, I might as well get a kick out of myself, too. If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. All my life, I’ve been the one to make other people laugh, but I’ve also been told not to take life so seriously. That last part is something I’m trying to work on and I figured some of you might benefit from doing the same.

When I stumbled on this collection of things that claimed it would freak out every OCD person, I had to play along. And I’m not gonna lie to you, some of it was uncomfortable to see…and some of it, I would be impulsively driven to correct, even if it wasn’t my place to.

But, hey guys, we’re safe over here. These are just pictures. You can’t die from the complete disregard for straight lines, symmetry and perfectionism or the unfathomable labeling system for the lighting rigs. Our OCD selves are all kinds of safe over here behind our computer screens (well, at least from the scenarios in the pictures), so go ahead and peruse. Heck, consider it a kind of flooding. It’s good practice…therapeutic even.

Best of luck, my friends. Try not to look away…and seriously, go ahead and laugh…because none of it can hurt you. And come on, that off-kilter, red window is pretty awesome (even though it might be photoshopped).

Step Out of Your OCD Comfort Zone and Laugh at Yourself

Back To My ADHD Roots

Apparently I’ve been blogging about my ADD / ADHD shenanigans for quite a while. I was aware that I’d written a good deal about them in my MySpace blog back in the day, but I had forgotten about my Xanga blog…or at least how much I had actually written in it.

Recently, I had a random recall about a comment somebody left on one of my Xanga posts. At the time, I was writing for a very small audience (a couple cousins and maybe a friend or two). I never categorized or tagged any of my posts. More than anything, I was really writing just to clear my head. Being as lost as I was at the time, I didn’t feel like I was in the best place to reach people and make a difference.

That’s why this comment really stuck out…it was from some random person, whose life I’d actually touched with my words.

Once I remembered the comment, I decided I had to find it. Now, Xanga was many lives (and many email addresses) ago, so it took a bit of detective work (self-hacking) to uncover it all…but I finally got there. While I expected a total of maybe three posts, there were actually 180.

As I scrolled through about two years worth of posts, looking for the comment that triggered this quest, it was like reliving it all over again. I found myself impressed by my own wisdom. Not to sound cocky (cause I’m not); I mean, I was honestly shocked.

My life has changed a great deal since then…in a lot of ways. Yet, in a lot of ways, I’m still haunted by many of the same ghosts. Those two years were life changing for me. When I started writing, I didn’t know I had ADD / ADHD; I hadn’t yet been diagnosed. In the early posts, I’m so frustrated, trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Then in the later posts, once I’ve been diagnosed, you can hear the relief and the, “What now?” of me trying to work it all out.

I laughed…I cried…and then I had to go buy a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger for lunch (because apparently I used to write entire blog posts about them. Who knew?).

In general, the posts were very enlightening, even to the person who lived the documented experiences. When I found the post (droid) I was looking for, entitled, “Colored File Folders and the Organization of Life,” I was excited to actually find two comments, instead of just the one.

I remember, back in the day (2006), reading that comment (or those comments as it turns out) and thinking that I had actually made a difference. I poured my heart out on a random electronic canvas and my story, as it was received, made others feel less alone and more understood in their own lives, “You have a much more articulate way of explaining how I feel than I do.” When I started blogging, I never expected to really reach anyone.

In that moment, though, I realized, as the one poster said, “The internet can be a good thing once in a while.” I’m not sure I fathomed how wide a reach the Internet would allow, but I knew I had just used it to reach at least two people.

For all that I go through and all that I’ve been through, if I can make a difference in one life…then it will have all been worth it.

…And You Just Know This Month’s ADHD Meds Are Actually Sugar Pills

Because, guys, how many of you haven’t had those months when you know your ADHD meds have been switched out with sugar pills? It’s like, no matter what you do, you feel just as ADD / ADHD as ever. It scares you a little bit because everything is slipping all at once. It’s just like the “good ole days,” except they weren’t really all that good.

That’s the kind of month I’ve been having. Seriously, it seems like every single time I look, my zipper is down. I’ve stared at a gas pump angrily clicking my remote car key, waiting for the damn pump to automatically pump itself. For the first time in many years, I spent an entire day hyper focusing (like nobody’s business) on an intense project at work only to accidentally close out of the program and then realize that I hadn’t saved all day. I have so many bruises from bumping into things that you’d think I was getting attacked on a regular basis.

And that’s just the stuff I’m remembering off the top of my head. You guys get it…I know you do. We all have those times when our old ADHD tricks come back full force. It’s crazy how quickly everything seems to fall apart and how quickly I become overwhelmed…and, even more so, how quickly I start second guessing everything I do.

That’s the thing of it. An ADD / ADHD diagnosis rarely feels like an excuse to those of us who actually have it. Sure, it’s an explanation for some of the struggles we might have faced in school, work, relationships, life in general, but it doesn’t excuse us as the person who has committed all these “sins.” Even after a diagnosis, a lot of ADHDers continue to struggle with self trust and forgiveness. No matter what anybody calls it, we still blame ourselves for the “mistakes we’ve made.”

In those moments, like now, when our (my) meds seem to fail and life seems to crash down on us (me), it really can be scary. For whatever ground we might have gained, it could just as easily slip away. Or so it feels anyway.

Try not to hate on yourself in these moments (or in any, really). I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, everybody has bad days…even those “normal” folk. The fact that you can tell when the meds aren’t working is a sign that they do actually work from time to time or at least a sign that you do actually work from time to time. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t notice a difference. So, hang in there. Try not to beat yourself up. Wait it out. Pretty soon you’ll be back to your old self, remembering to zip your pants up and all.